Day 10

Day 10           

June 2, 2011

In my mind today has been like a game of tug-o-war. It had its ups and downs in both experience and emotion. Thursdays are the scheduled days for the mobile clinic to go out into the slums to give regular care to those who cannot afford to make the journey to the clinic itself. I was prepared for this day and really looking forward to it, but after devotions they told us that it got canceled. We were obviously disappointed, but hoped for the next best thing such as maybe doing more hands on work in the clinic. However the next best thing did come along. The Dr. who came in also expecting to go out was rather upset and disappointed in the childish run around game. You see last week the guy in charge canceled the journey out and for him to cancel a second time in a row is no way to build a relationship with a group of people who are relying on you. Luckily the doctor put her foot down and found a way to still get us to the Mud Fort slum. Rather than taking the RV like mobile clinic we piled into an auto equipped only with ourselves, water, and a basic medical kit. I am so thankful we had the opportunity to see the situation in which a majority of our patients are coming from.  I couldn’t imagine living like they are. Maybe for a very short while on some extreme camping trip and a chance to win a million dollars, but other than that…there would be no way. Driving up you just see tarps and piles of trash which are actually probably peoples belongings. There were some stagnant water piles with flies swarming. Skinny puppies rummaged around in the mud trying to stay cool. It smelt like, trash, poop, and burning fires. As soon as we got out of the vehicles a group of kids swarmed us at the sight of our cameras and bombarded us with shouts of “ Photo! Photo!” The kids there were great! They were so fun to take pictures of and to see their expressions and laughter at the sight of themselves and friends. The community in the slums is so unique. Everyone hangs out with each other so it is nearly impossible to tell as an outsider who is and isn’t related. As we made our way through the muddy trail of the slums we were on a mission to find a 1 and 4 month old who needed to be checked up on. We first came upon the 4 month old that was hanging in a material like contraption that was suspended in the air by a tree branch. This baby was fine for the most part and just needed some basic antibiotics, but the 1 month old was not in the best condition. His breathing was very rapid and shallow. The doctor and nurse along with us encouraged the family to take him to the hospital.

            This experience for me was very moving and a moment I will never soon forget, but I can’t help but question how much am I really making a difference? Granted one person cannot change the world, but at the same time what does God want from me? Why did he bring me here? All the things I have done are things people who are paid employees can already do. I feel like there is such a great need for help here, but I feel myself overwhelmed at just which area of need is the greatest. The comfort of a Christian based community is not a bad thing, but the base here is almost too comfortable in a weird sort of way. It is really easy to find yourself set apart from the people and the culture of India.  I want to be challenged and I really want to see God moving in His people. What I keep reminding myself though is that I am just a small portion of the plans God has for India. Our God is the alpha and omega--- the beginning and the end. He was here before me and He will be here in India long after me. The images that keep me sane are the smiles on the people’s faces if you just smile or acknowledge their presence. The joy, laughter, and excitement on the children’s faces if you just shake their hand or if they see a picture of themselves. These people will probably forget about me in a day or so, but I guess knowing that I could take their mind off of the daily struggles of life, even if just for a few minutes is, I suppose, quite rewarding.

            It has only been ten days since I have been here and I have already seen and had the opportunity to do so much. I came into this trip not knowing what to expect and I will continue to expect the unexpected. I have learned you cannot put expectations on God’s work. His timing is perfect and he will reveal things to me when the time is right. It was so nice to talk to the other girls here who have been struggling with similar frustrations and struggles. Having them around is a reminder that it is no mistake that I am here. God has a plan. His plans may be different from our own, but I have no doubt that by the end of this journey we will come back changed… maybe more than we can imagine. Thus far God had been placing an issue on my heart that is a HUGE decision and has absolutely nothing to do with India. I would have never expected this issue to arise here, but at the same time it has always been a thought in the back of my mind since I became interested in health. I pray that God speaks to me clearly on which direction I need to take when I get back home. If it is His plans than all will work out fine and I will be sure of my decision, but I fear making the wrong choice and regret that decision years from now.